It was the day before the exam. I was panicking; I had barely done any study the whole trimester and struggled to recall much of the lecture material. I smartly realised that my best chances relied upon hypnotising my examiners through subliminal suggestions carefully hidden within my exam script; much like Darren Brown on his T.V. magic mentalism shows. It would be easy; use terms like "A" to imply a high grade and use terms like "percentage increase" and "good", "excellent" and "outstanding" to subliminally suggest to whoever was marking my paper that I should get a high mark regardless of the large amounts of bullshit i wrote down. So I studied techniques of hypnosis for a good two hours.
I soon realised I would never get good enough to hypnotise anyone in the small number of hours I had left and since when should you believe anything you hear on T.V.?! So I bravely turned to my treacherous text books. Text books should come with a warning; "may induce drowsiness". I fell asleep within 30 minutes of opening my text book.
Next morning I woke up. Brain was hardly working. Scary thoughts went through my mind in strangely short sentences; "Oh Crud. Fell asleep. Exam soon. Must cram. Get ready. Forget Shower. Catch Train. Study. Cram more. Study. Cram more. Brain melting. Forget Brain. Just cram."
I finally got into my exam. My head was swarming with rehearsed sentences and formulae. I felt sick; sick from all the knowledge and information that I had just crammed into my head. I just wanted them to start the exam so that I could spew and vomit all this information out of my head and onto paper. And so I forgot all about my sneaky idea of using hypnosis to get a higher mark. I also forgot many of the pieces of information I had recently shoved into my head.
Disclaimer: This story is based on a true story :P
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